|NOT Ian McKellan.|
So um, I don't think that I've ever mentioned it on this blog, but I'm a big fan of the J. R. R. Tolkien Middle Earth series. I used to read the books yearly as a teenager. When the movies were made properly (over 10 years ago!), I was elated. And yes, I've seen the new Hobbit, and yeah, I'm a bit disappointed. I found it, well, padded.
I had laughed and puzzled over the Hobbit menu at Denny's. Really? Like, really? Of all places? But then, I realized, that Denny's was as good a place as any. I mean, they wanted to do a promotion, they would want to do it with a chain to maximize, was there a better choice? Better than the last time with the Burger King promotion, is the best argument that I have. Remember those light up goblets?
After becoming more and more curious, I recruited some friends. We had to try this ridiculous menu. With names like "The Ring Burger" and "Radagast's Red Velvet Pancake Puppies" I knew that we were in for some stellar kitsch. Tolkien is spinning in his grave.
We decided to hit up one of the better-rated Denny's in City Heights on a Wednesday night. Check out the awesome menus!
And we had to take pics with the menu. Go ahead, JUDGE.
What Middle Earth magnificence did we eat? I know that's the burning question on everyone's mind. There are about 10 or so items on the Hobbit menu, and the rule was that we had to order only items from the Hobbit menu. I got the Hobbit Hole breakfast, which was a sort of hens in a nest with bacon and cheese hashbrowns and moar bacon on the side. Yay heart attack!
|Just like Mrs. Took-Baggins would make.|
My friends ordered Frodo's Pot Roast Skillet (yes, really, that's the name), the Dwarves' Turkey Dinner, and the Ring Burger. The food was....well, better tasting than I thought, but our journey had only begun.
Dessert was still to arrive!
|I can't help it, I love frosting of any kind.|
There were two "dessert" offerings: the aforementioned pancake puppies (good Lord, that name alone is so riduck), and the Lonely Mountain seed cake bites. What did we get? Why, deep-fried, dyed, processed dough! The pancake puppies were actually okay, although good in that way that Doritos and Velveeta queso is good. And they were served with real canned cream cheese frosting!
For each meal, we received a packet of Hobbit collector cards, and BONUS a pack of cards for that ridiculous dessert. I think that the waitress just wanted these hipsters out of her life.
|Note the TUMS.|
We opened them immediately upon arrival back to our place! And almost as soon as I unlocked the front door, the indigestion adventure had begun. I eat this stuff so that you don't have to.